Tantra is like the black sheep of the family, she’s a really misunderstood being. Especially here in the west where we have bastardized the word to mean anything we want, but generally related to sex workers, or a type of erotic massage, or endless physical orgasm.
Tantra is a life philosophy, a school of thought, an intimate experience of your own body, soul and the universe. It is a solo practice especially at the start, and it is not a casual undertaking.
My definition of the concept of Tantra is: “Tantra is the ultimate love affair with yourself and all of your existence. In the process of igniting your internal flame, you come to experience all ordinary moments as extraordinary experiences. Immersed in that experience, you realize that you are the divine, there is nothing else to need or want, but that moment.”
Only 3 percent of Tantra is even related to sex. Yes, you say, but sex is the part you want to learn about.
Well here’s the thing. You can not have a truly spiritual sexual relationship with another until you have a truly spiritual life with yourself and others with your clothes on.
Most people are just plain getting it backwards.
Trying to be a master lover with technique alone is like being a mute singer. You may be able to form the muscles to make the sound, but no sound will be heard.
Most of Tantra is practiced with your clothes on. Even the extremely deep love making to another’s soul can be accomplished without being naked. That’s the beauty of learning Tantra, once you learn to utilize its principles you can do magick.
The endless orgasm and living in arousal that Tantra is famous for is really misinterpreted to be a physical response in the genitals when in actuality it is a full body, soul and divine ( God) experience.
Living In full arousal is experiencing living in the fullest expression you have as a human. It would be a sad thing for such an enormous expression to be so limited to only your crotch. That would be like the ocean only having one color, or a song with only one note.
Living in a state of full expression as a human is done by being dynamic, in all aspects of your range of emotional feelings and physical sensations. It has little to do with your head (simply a state of logic) or just pleasure in your lower body. Full body integration is a tough thing to understand in a world where we are so compartmentalized.
Our bodies, feelings, and souls are out of balance, and most people are leading with only one major expression at a time.
For example, every one knows that person with the soft touch. They tend to “fall in love” easily and never say no to anyone who needs help. They usually end up acting like a martyr because they are so out of balance. Then there is the cerebral person, who seems to posses no feelings, and makes all their decisions from logic. Usually this person seems cold and not very romantic (no heart), frequently they will have anger lurking beneath the surface from repressed emotions, once again out of balance.
The art of Tantra is way to rebalance the body, mind and soul. It is an exploration of self, and an opening to all the wonders that are in and outside of us, a way to connect fully with the universe.
Starting with the self you will learn to tune into your feelings, and physical sensations, learning to expand your capacity for both of these. Most of you are living a 2 on a scale to infinity in the amount of pleasure you can feel, both emotionally and physically.
Once you learn to expand in self you can start to look around with new wonder at all the things you have not noticed before. It is as if you are awakening to a new life, and new way of being, and you are.
Then once open to this path you will find you will not want to go back. You will want more and more of the full expression you are capable of.
From here you can start to experience the potential of loving in an entirely new way, physically and emotionally. Now all the techniques you know for love making are merely extension of your soul instead of physical manipulation. Just gazing at your lover with your clothes on will be more magnificent than any physical act you created before, ever was.